A couple of months ago I was doing some mentoring with a group of young people working on their first business idea. And I found myself sharing insights that surprised me.

I’ve been back in the land of startups for the last two and a half years. Returning to startups after a break of almost a decade – I see different things this time round. Then I was all about The Lean startup – finding problem/solution fit through customer validation and prototyping. Now I see that this is simply the price of admission – having a strong proposition and occupying a gap in the market can get you a seat at the table, but success is down to a lot of other things that’re often neglected when people talk about what led to their success (or failure).

Here’s five things that I think also contribute to success in a startup (or any other form of career for that matter) that aren’t talked about as much as they should.

1. Long-term communities of practice

Individual talent is great and can get us far. And belonging to a craft community for a long time can be just as valuable. Sustained participation in a community of professional peers is incredibly valuable. I’ve found that my professional relationships compound over time and our careers build alongside each other. This builds trust. And I’ve found that opportunities often emerge from trust.

There’s a lot of talk about building an audience, and there’s truth in this. But I’d say that joining and building communities of practice in the long term is even more important and valuable.

2. Curiosity alongside identity

I’m strongly associated with the identity of ‘product management’ amongst my communities of practice. And for a lot of my 30s, this was accurate. But before that, and for the last 7-8 years, I was largely unconcerned with a rigid professional identity. I followed what was interesting to me, and my career progression was through curiosity more than planning.

I say this because moving into leadership over the last few years, and back in to startup world in the last couple of years, I’ve found a place to balance these two things. My professional identity gives me a deep specialism that is rare and valuable. And my curiosity allows me to step way outside of a single, rigid identity and just get stuff done. Whether it’s a startup or career in general, being able to hold these two contradictory positions at once has proved really useful for where I’m at in my career in my 40s.

3. Doing real work is a great way to develop

My expertise has been best developed through repeated exposure to real situations, over many years. All of the courses, books, talks, conferences, and theory was truly great at the beginning of my career in developing my confidence and giving me a starting point. But it’s the real work, real deadlines, real situations, real success and real failure that has truly shaped my expertise. I don’t think that consuming knowledge is the only or the best way towards success. I think knowing how to learn is just as important (more so for me). Doing things, reflecting on them, adjusting, and repeating – for me personally has been essential being back in a startup space. And, to be honest, throughout my career. If I have one small regret it’s probably that I outsourced too much of my learning to the knowledge of other people – I could have healthily trusted my own learning and instincts a little more.

4. Generous collaborators accelerate careers

Dozens of people played roles in my early career, from minor to major. Putting myself in communities of practice put me in contact with people kind enough to care and help. I’ve never forgotten that. I’ve had the chance to let some of them know this, and said ‘thank you’. But the real way I say thanks is by paying back the favour through doing the same for others.

Behind the scenes, I’ve been having coffees, chats, coaching sessions, doing mentoring, and giving talks for years. That’s not intended as a humble brag, it’s intended to say that, for me, part of being successful is being a generous collaborator. It’s fun to talk about a thing you love doing, with someone else who loves it. It gives me energy, Coaching in particular is something I love doing, because you’re helping someone figure something out for themself – and the truism of coaching is that the coach always ends up learning something about their own situation by listening to the coachee.

A totally unexpected benefit of this that I wouldn’t have guessed at the time: the people you support 10 years ago move on in their own careers, becoming peers in their own right. Just like I remember the people that helped me, so the people that you support will remember you. Nowadays I get the chance to collaborate with some of these people as peers, which is very cool.

5. Sustainable rhythm beats intensity

Long term success – in a startup, in middle age, in leadership – is not created by heroic overwork. Careers are measured in decades, and longevity doesn’t come from hustle and grind. I had to break and remake my mental model and relearn that professional success comes best when it’s nestled in a healthy life: family, friends, rest, recovery, having fun. Work is important and real life is even more important.